


How to Speak through Silence

by izzygone



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 09:03:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzygone/pseuds/izzygone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He almost lost Spock today. He almost lost everything today. He's not going to cry about it, though, shit happens. And Spock didn't die. Spock is right here, in this this room.</p><p>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Speak through Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this has probably been done a million times, but this is my take on hurt/comfort, and is totally the opposite of pretty much everything I have ever written. I promised myself that I would write for 30 minutes every day, though, and this is one of the things that came out.

Since the incident with Khan, Spock has slept on a couch in Kirk's chambers, and neither of them has said a word about it. Jim certainly doesn't plan to start getting chatty now.

But after a mission like they'd just had, it's hard not to say something.  _Sleep here, next to me. I need to know that you're okay_. He sits on the couch next to his first officer.

Silence.

Gently, mindful of the Vulcan's particular touch sensitivity, Kirk places his hand on Spock's. Twenty seconds later, he removes it.

Neither of them says  _I nearly lost you_. 

Neither of them says  _please don't do this to me again_.

Kirk rises to his feet, tugs off his captain's golds and black undershirt, his shoes and trousers falling in gentle thuds onto the floor. He regulates his breathing as he slides under the covers, blinks, watches Spock from the corner of his eye. Spock remains motionless on the couch, staring at nothing. 

 _Come to me, I need to feel you still here_. Kirk closes his eyes. He doesn't want to break the silence even to adjust the lights.

Spock must have done it, though, somehow and very quietly because beyond his eye lids it becomes suddenly darker.

Jim breathes slowly and deeply, listening for anything, for Spock adjusting, maybe lying down. Maybe moving to him. He hears nothing but his own breathing in the silence.

He can't sleep because his chest is too tight and his head if full and there's a lump in his throat he can't swallow around and  _fuck_. He almost lost Spock today. He almost lost everything today. He's not going to cry about it, though, shit happens. And Spock  _didn't_  die. Spock is right here, in this this room.

Right?

He turns onto his side, facing away from where his best friend is probably still sitting like a statue. He blinks into the darkness of the other half of the room and tries not to think for near 20 minutes before he hears rustling from the other side of the room. He doesn't shift, doesn't acknowledge the sound of Spock moving. Probably moving away from him.

But there's pressure on the bed, and Kirk feels it dip. He doesn't say anything. He pretends to be a sleep and continues to breathe. Maybe he smiles a little.

He doesn't turn over, he doesn't acknowledge Spock lying on the bed next to him. He certainly doesn't  _touch._

 _Thank god you're okay_.

_Please don't ever leave me._

He closes his eyes and falls asleep to the rhythm of Spock's slow breathing.

The next morning, he checks the other side of the bed, but Spock is already gone.


End file.
